My fiancé would argue that he is one of the least creative people he or I have ever met. I would disagree and say that he is “selectively creative.” Before I go in depth, I’ll offer some basic information about him so that you can better understand and know him.
My fiancé’s name is Joe and he is 24 years old. He graduated last December from University of Missouri St. Louis (UMSL) with a degree in secondary education and teaching certification for math and science in middle school. He has always loved kids and when he was younger worked as a counselor for the YMCA for about 5 years and at Toys-R-Us for 3 years. We met when I came to college and got engaged in July.
When talking to Joe about this class and creativity, he made several comments. First, he said that kids are definitely more creative than adults which was something we had discussed in class and has been addressed in our reading. Secondly, he argued that girls are urged to be more creative than boys from a young age. Lastly, he said that everyone can be creative and inventive if put into a situation where they are “forced” to be creative.
When probed to give more information about the first two claims, he said that kids are uninhibited and therefore better able to let loose and think abstractly. When I suggested that scientists and entrepreneurs are creative, he argued that they are trained to think a certain way and that it is not actually creativity but utilization of skills that they are programmed to have. I am not sure exactly what to think about this, but I tend to think they utilize their knowledge in creative ways. In reference to the gender comment, he said that girls are more often placed into more “creative” activities at a younger age such as dance, art, and drama which foster and promote the growth of creativity. I would disagree and say that sports and typical “little boy” activities offer a degree of creativity in regards to strategizing. I also think that elementary schools do a semi-decent job of exposing all kids to different activities by mandating art, physical education, music, and drama. Perhaps others have opinions on this topic?
The last idea that when put in a situation where it is significantly advantageous to be creative, most people will be was the most interesting to me. This was something that when attempting to come up with a test for creativity in class, my group discussed. We had a lot of difficulty finding a test that would accurately measure creativity because of the need for motivation. Joe says that this is the case with creativity in his life. He says that there are two aspects in his life where he feels compelled to be creative: at work and in our relationship.
Joe’s love for kids and teaching inspire him to be creative. He wants to engage his students by being interesting. It is because of this that he has come up with class activities such as educational joke Friday- he tells a joke and then encourages his students to tell school appropriate jokes. In addition, he makes class projects that are unique and interesting to the kids. The idea that he would be creative in his work was not particularly surprising as I know most people use some extent of creativity in their career in order to be successful.
I was more surprised that he felt compelled to be creative in our relationship. He explained that guys feel a great deal of pressure to be creative in dating. When I heard this, I automatically assumed he meant that at the beginning of relationships, guys need to make an effort to show a girl a good time in order to win her affection. Contrary, he said that the longer that we have been in a relationship, the more he feels the need to be creativity. In the beginning, simply going to dinner or a movie was a great date, but he says now that we have routinely done “typical” activities, he feels like he really has to use his creativity to keep me happy and excited. I thought about this and I think that this is very true. He has taken me to pick apples at Eckert’s farm, boating in Wisconsin, to little country carnivals, and many more original, fun places. In addition, he says that he constantly looks up new unique recipes and finds ways to jazz up typical meals to make our nights at home more fun for me. On top of this, he suggested that the time when our society suggests that a man should be most compelled to be creative is when asking a woman to marry him. He explained the steps and the creative process that he had to undergo:
1. Choosing a ring- When selecting an engagement ring, a guy must first educate himself about the 4 C’s of picking a diamond. In addition he must carefully consider what he knows about his girlfriend’s preferences and also her personality. Then utilizing this information, he must select a ring that is the “perfect” match. This involves making sure the ring is not too common as to suggest that he did not spend his time and energy in selecting it; however, he must also consider that if it is too unique, it may be very far from what she had in mind. This involves balancing all of these components in making a decision.
2. Deciding How to propose- Our society and the media portray and encourage romantic, creative proposals. A man must think of a unique, romantic way of proposing in order to make his girlfriend feel special. Joe explained that while the night we got engaged may have seemed like just a night (granted a very important, special one) to me, it was the result of months of careful consideration and planning on his part. After deciding how to propose, he has to plan and arrange the proposal.
3. Proposing- Deciding what to say when asking a woman to marry him can be very difficult for a man. He does not want to sound cliché; however, he must still make sure to include the typical I love you and such in the proposal. In our society, it is no longer acceptable for a man to simply ask a woman to marry him, but instead he must be creative in what he says.
I never considered the pressure placed on men to be creative in relationships. After discussing this with Joe, I definitely do believe that motivation is a big, if not the biggest, component in creativity. Because of the society that we live in, men and women expect this type of creativity in their relationships. Romance and creativity seem to go hand in hand. In other cultures, the whole idea of romance and creativity is a non-issue. Thus, I believe that society plays an enormous role in dictating the creative endeavors that each of us encounter.
